A football (soccer) player almost got tossed from his match before it even started this week, for farting in the general direction of the referee.  The incident occured prior to the start of the match between AFC G.O.P. and Apsley House (WTF???  What kind of names are those for teams?   What ever happened to good old American names like Wildcats and Nittany Lions?  By the way, what the hell is a “nittany” lion?  And, what makes one lion more nittany than another?)

Who knows…

Anyway, for the sake of convenience, and since nobody much cares about soccer, I’m going to call the 2 teams the Wildcats and the Nittany Lions. 

So, where were we?  Oh yeah, match official Bunny Reid was behind Levi Foster (who plays for the Wildcats) prior to the start of their critical match against the Nittany Lions.  It seems Foster bent over to make sure his official Wildcats shoes were properly laced, and then he laced a ripper right at Reid.  Reid was shocked.  The Wildcats were known for their decorum and gentlemanly play, and this was totally out of character for anybody in the Wildcat organization, and a disgrace to the long tradition of pride the Wildcats had worked so hard to foster over the years.

Reid initally wanted to toss Foster out of the game.  But, after much laughter from both the Nittany Lions and the Wildcats, Foster was simply issued a yellow card, and the match continued, despite the farting incident.  Foster later excused his embarassing and almost costly fart, simply admitting, “I had curry the night before”.

While Reid did not comment on the smell of the fart, we can only assume because there was curry involved that it was indeed dastardly.

When the match was over, Foster was named “Man of the Match”…perhaps as much for what happened before the match, as during.  And, the Wildcats beat the Nittany Lions, 5-0.  Very nittany indeed!