This excerpt from Flatology and the Risk of Sphincter Damage by Dr. Rex Breefs has highlighted some tips that may help you increase a disappointing gas output. Please note that Dr. Breefs and Farts.com, Inc. can not be held responsible for anything from damaged underwear to death by pyroflatulomania. If you choose to follow these tips, do so at your own risk-they should work for most but you should consult your doctor before changing your health & diet habits.

To increase your fart output you should:

• Drink more carbonated beverages.
• If you have lactose intolerance, increase your intake of milk and milk products
• Eat more gas producing foods like cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, bran, beans, broccoli and cabbage
• Add large amounts of fiber to your diet
• Cut down on (or if possible, eliminate) all exercise-especially any aerobic activity
• Increase the amount of air intake into the stomach…this can be done by:
  • Chewing gum or tobacco
  • Smoking cigarettes
  • Ask your dentist to provide you with poorly fitting dental implants/dentures.