Wow….lots of mail lately!!!! Some of your letters do not require a long, drawn-out, verbose, extensive, wordy, repetitive, redundant, repetative, redundant answer. So, I have decided this week to feature “Dr. Rex’s Mailbag”. These are some letters that do not require a long, drawn-out, verbose, extensive, wordy, repetitive, redundant, repetative, redundant answer. So, I have decided this week to feature “Dr. Rex’s Mailbag”. Remember, this is in the interest of saving time and bandwidth. In the interest of saving time and bandwidth, I have decided this week to feature “Dr. Rex’s Mailbag”. These are some letters that do not require a long, drawn-out, verbose, extensive, wordy, repetitive, redundant, repetative, redundant answer. OK, OK, here goes:
Q: hi when i fart they are all silent but vilent! how do i make the sounds that come with the fart?
A: Try getting a sound card and some speakers. An inexpensive set-up can run just under $100.
Q: I was kind of wondering why it is when you are holding in a fart and you bend down or squat, why do you loose the pressure you have been exerting?-Bob & friends
A: The reason you lose the pressure is because the fart escapes. Next time, listen carefully.
Q: It is true that farting does actually clean your colon?-Karl
A: No, Karl, farting does not clean my colon. Each Wednesday, a guy named Walter comes in and cleans my colon. He uses pipe cleaners and a wire brush. Walter is underpaid.
Q: aren’t you ashamed of yourself? Does your mother know what you are doing?- Brian
A: Our mothers actually think this is pretty cool-is your mom just uptight?
Q: A safety tip for novice fart lighters: after a session of fart lighting, if the holes in your underwear are larger than dime-size, you are holding the flame too close to your ass.-Bob
A: Not actually a question, Bob, but you make a good point.
Q: dear dr,rex,why is it that every time i do a headstand or someone stands on my stomach i fart?Also why do those big mac farts come when you’re with someone important.-Geoff
A: Geoff, I think you need to give up your career as an acrobat in the circus, or maybe just change your diet while on the road.
Tags: fart lighting, fart sounds